I hope very much that you are able to access all the help that you need to rebuild.This may sound flippant, but I can assure you that I mean this sincerely: If reading the column right now makes you want to punch people, give yourself the gift of taking a break from reading this column!Narcissists know how to bide their time and make you feel very special. Narcissists love to talk, mostly about themselves since they are preoccupied with themselves. He wants to make sure you and everyone else he knows is impressed with his greatness. His outward image is more important than their inner reality. His family members must also look perfect since outward appearances matter a great deal to him. You will be deceived for a while until they know they have you, hook, line, and sinker. They will turn every conversation around to be about their favorite topic, you guessed it, themselves. The world is, and has always been, full of problems on a variety of scales, and I don’t believe there is ever going to be a time where natural disasters, food insecurity, and personal devastation are not an issue.It’s profoundly important to both engage with big-picture issues like disaster relief, and it’s also true that everyone needs help dealing with co-workers, relatives, their own feelings, and petty annoyances.
Although I used to really enjoy this column, I now find myself reading the questions and feeling extremely angry, as I don’t think that the issue of whether or not someone may or may not have said something mean to a co-worker qualifies as a real problem when I personally have no power, have to stand in line for hours to buy food, and had to send our son to my parents’ house so he could attend school.I understand why people would want to post, but it just makes me furious.It makes me feel like everything I’ve gone through has been reduced down to a hashtag so that it can trend on social media. Am I obligated to speak out on my social media page even if that means outing myself as a survivor? A: You are not obligated to share your own trauma simply because there is a social media campaign going on.Some of the questions folks ask here are huge—how does one deal with an abusive family, how does one recover from a personal violation or an act of violence—and some of them are on a much smaller scale.
It can be terribly useful to take a step back from one’s own preoccupations and map them against the problems of the world in order to maintain perspective and correct for selfishness and myopia, but “be grateful the problem you have isn’t a different problem” isn’t a sufficient holistic answer either.
My boss posted on our Facebook page about how “proud” he was of all the women who’ve been sharing their stories and I almost lost it.